It was the middle of March about two weeks before my birthday, but it still seemed like winter outside, even though there was hardly any snow left on the ground.

“You know Coolie”, mom said as she rubbed a white cloth on the shiny top of the round table in the living room, “Your tenth birthday’s coming up, and I think I’m at a point where I’m ready to have a real party in this place.” She looked around the room. “Our lonely little Herman Miller chest and Windsor chair from our old living room FINALLY have a lot of company. Thanks to all your dad and I’ve been able to do, we now have this round table, the rectangular table and the square coffee table in the sitting room, the overstuffed rocking chair, the deacon’s bench, the love seat, and a couple nice end tables.”

She ran her fingers along the top of one of the four metal chairs around the round table, made up of thin white tubes crisscrossing to form a grid that curved to form both the bottom and the back part. “And we got that great deal on these four Bertoia Side Chairs at the Treasure Mart. That was one of the best days ever.”

“I think we should have a big party in the house for your tenth birthday”, she said, “That’s a real milestone, and we should celebrate in style. You’re really not a child anymore. You know that, don’t you?”

I nodded, but also thought about that. I never liked that “child” word. When people used it, grownups OR kids, they usually meant it was something bad, like you were stupid or didn’t know how to do things right or were “whining” all the time.

“You’re really a young man now”, she said, holding her hands out toward me and making her biggest smile. “Look at you sweetie. Good looking. Good at sports. Smart at school. SO well spoken when you want to be. Your brother, and the other kids on the street look up to you. Your school friends care about you. Your dad and I are SO proud of you!”

I wasn’t sure what to say. I wanted mom and dad to think I was a really good kid so they wouldn’t try to be in charge of me. Still sometimes she’d get mad at me because I wouldn’t remember to do my “chore” and take out the trash, or I wouldn’t be nice to my brother. It made me feel like she thought she was smarter than I was and even better than I was because she seemed like she was always right and I was wrong.

Since I hadn’t said anything yet, I could tell she was trying to figure out how to get me to say what I thought of all that stuff.

“So how does turning ten feel to you?” she asked, “Is it special or just another birthday?” I turned to look at her face as she looked into my eyes and hers opened wide, as if she was asking, “Well?” I really didn’t like telling grownups what I was thinking about hard questions like that and the things I was always worrying about that made those kinds of questions hard, not even her or dad.

“I don’t know, I guess so”, I said, “But what about a party in the park like we usually did back at Allmendinger?” She shook her head slowly.

“My intuition tells me Mother Nature is not going to warm things up in time for your birthday this year”, she said, “It’s past the middle of March and we haven’t had a day yet that feels remotely like even the hint of spring.” I guess she was right AS usual.

“For your special birthday”, she said, “Let’s have a big party here in our new house with all our refurbished furniture. Invite lots of kids AND adults, like Molly’s birthday parties back in their house on Prescott across the street. All the people who’ve been part of your life. What do you think?” I didn’t say anything, thinking.

She always thought she had the best ideas on what to do. But if I couldn’t think of any better ideas and tell them to her instead, she was probably right as usual.

“I mean it’s YOUR party Coolie”, she said, “We won’t do it if you don’t want to.” She wanted me to talk to her like I was another grownup, but I didn’t feel like I was ready to do that. It did sound kind of neat though.

“I don’t know”, I said, but that sounded like a stupid kid.

She always did this. She would spend all this time thinking up a really good idea and then tell me and let me decide if I had a better idea. But I HADN’T been thinking about it like she had, so even though I might not like HER idea, I hadn’t had time to think up any better ideas of my own.

“I guess so”, I said. What I said still sounded stupid.

“We can invite lots of your friends”, she said, “From the old neighborhood and your old school, and from our new neighborhood and your new school.” She got a pencil and that pad of yellow lined paper she liked to write on. “Let’s make a list!” Mom was always making lists.

I didn’t want to sound like a kid who didn’t know anything anymore, a kid where she had to do all the work for me, so I said, “I can make a list and give it to you.”

“Okay then”, she said, and her eyes opened up wide like she was surprised I was going to do it myself, “Great idea, but I need it pretty soon.”

She carefully ripped off the top sheet of the yellow pad and gave it to me with the pencil. I took them and went upstairs to the office and put them on dad’s old desk, which I guess was all our desk now, since he had his own desk at his work office. I figured I should just do the list now and give it to her so she didn’t keep asking me if I’d done it yet.

So I made a list. I wrote it like Abby’s notes, in printed letters instead of cursive and with large words for each kind of friend and then smaller words under it with each name of the friend who was that kind.

Under “New School” I put Mike, Andy and Arthur, but not Billy, Gil or Teddy. I figured I could only have one group of my new school friends at the party, because each thought the other group wasn’t as good, and Mike, Andy and Arthur seemed more like older kids like I wanted to be than the “Billy Boyds”. And if I had friends come from my old school – like Herbie, Gabe and Amanda – I was worried Mike, Andy and Arthur might think THEY were more like younger kids too. We all seemed so much younger last year when I would hang out with them at recess at school or in Allmendinger Park.

Under “Old Neighborhood” I put Marybeth and Danny, because they were older, and I figured that Mike, Andy and Arthur would think it was pretty neat that I had older friends, even if one was a girl. I also put Paul, because he was my second best friend, but not Kenny, because they would think he was more like a little kid. Under “New Neighborhood” I put Steve and Vincent, who both lived on our new street, even though they were a little younger than I was. I also put Jake, who had been my friend at my old school, but who had moved to my new neighborhood even though he went to that different “Angell” school instead of Burns Park.

Under “Other” I put Molly of course, because she was still my best friend, and I put Ricky, because he was an older kid too and everybody thought he was pretty neat.

I ran down the stairs and gave the list to mom like I really knew what I was doing.

She took it and looked at it and made kind of a pretend surprised face and said, “Wow… This is a nicely done list.” I nodded, and felt even more like a big kid, and thought, “See mom, I don’t need your help anymore!”

Then she read it and said, “So none of your school friends from Bach except Jake?” I shook my head. “Okay”, she said, like she wasn’t sure it was really okay.

“I also think if you’re inviting Steve you should invite his sister Abby”, she said, “If for no other reason than Molly will have another girl her age at the party. She’s ten years old like you are, and I get the feeling from talking to her mom that she’s not as much of a Tomboy as she used to be. And I think if you invite Marybeth, you pretty much have to invite Hannah too.”

I nodded. Inviting Hannah was okay, because she was just a little kid like my brother. But Abby was a girl in my class at school, and I was worried that Mike, Andy or Arthur might think that she was my girlfriend, or one of the other kids at the party might think that. Or Billy, Gil or Teddy might find out she came to my party and tease me about her being my girlfriend. But now that I’d already nodded, mom would think it was okay to invite Abby too, and I’d have to tell her that it wasn’t, but then she’d want me to tell her why and I didn’t want to do that. I guess Abby would come and hopefully just talk to Molly and Marybeth a lot.

“And of course”, mom said, “I’m going to invite all the parents of the friends you invited, which is how I’ve always done your birthday parties. And family friends who know you like your dad’s friends Frank and Walter, and Eddie’s parents Idi and Zelda, and of course Eddie too. I figure we’ll start at one o’clock so people won’t expect us to serve lunch. Just snacks. Chips and dips and that sort of thing.”

I nodded. I was used to having a bunch of grownups at my birthday parties. It kept mom and dad busy so they didn’t worry about what me and the other kids were doing.

“And I’d also like to invite one more person”, mom said, “I met her at a cocktail party last night in support of university professors who are organizing to oppose the War in Vietnam. Her name’s Maryjane, and we just hit it off. I hope you don’t mind Coolie.”

I nodded. The more grownups she had to talk to the less she’d be worrying about what all us kids were doing at the party.

I had been to my new friend Mike’s birthday party in February, at his house, and besides some kids from school and even some older kids, there were lots of grownups there that were like college “professors” like dad, and they were all talking about politics stuff and that Vietnam War. I figured when Mike and his friends came to MY party, they would see a lot of grownups like that too and he’d think I was pretty neat like him.

***

The day of the party it was cold outside like mom figured it would be. Molly came first with her mom and stepdad. She gave me a wrapped present that looked and sounded like a big tube of Tinker Toys, and I put it on the big table in the sitting room part of the living room, where mom said all the presents should go. They came early so Molly’s mom could help in the kitchen get all the snacks and the drinks ready. She breathed out air loudly and said, “Jane it’s been way too long. With our move across town, Larry’s work politics and Molly’s new school, we’ve just been crazy busy!”

Molly’s stepdad shook dad’s hand and said, “Eric, I hear you’re full time faculty at Eastern now. Maybe you can tell me all the gory details and can swap stories while the girls are busy in the kitchen.”

“THIS GIRL wants to hear all those gory details too, Larry”, Molly’s mom said, “You’re not the only one with dreams of academia dancing in your head! Maybe you can HELP Jane and I in the kitchen while Eric regales us all on the lay of the land in the English department at Eastern.”

They hadn’t seen our new house, not even Molly, so mom asked me to give them a tour. I showed them every place in the house, even the old coal closet in the basement, AND the attic. When we got to David’s and my room, David was sitting on his bed drawing and listening to the Beatles records on the record player. Molly ran and jumped on the other bed, my bed, landing on her bottom and looking at David.

“Hey Wavy Davy”, she said, that was a nickname she used to call him, “How’s your big brother treating you?” With me and her mom and dad standing there looking at him, I could tell David didn’t know what to say.

“Uh, okay I guess”, he said, like he wasn’t sure.

“Molly Wheeler”, her mom said kind of laughing, “Where are your manners young lady?”

When I finished the tour all four grownups went into the kitchen to help get stuff ready. Molly and I sat on the metal wire chairs at the round table in the living room.

“This house is a lot bigger than your old house”, she said, “The attic is really neat but the basement isn’t as good.” I nodded. She was right.

“Remember my attic bedroom at our Prescott house, across the street from your house?” she asked, and I nodded again. “That was the best place in the whole world. I could see your house down below across the street and even could see when you were climbing in the spruce trees in the backyard, remember?” I nodded. I remembered.

Then she moved her head close to mine and looked into my eyes and said quietly now, “Remember all the crazy stuff we did up there?”

“Yep”, I said quietly too, nodding. I wondered if she just meant all the pretending, or if she meant that time we got naked with each other.

“We were just little kids that didn’t know any better”, she said even more quietly, then after thinking for a moment, “But it was a lot of fun. I remember every second, don’t you?” I nodded. I DID remember every second too.

“We didn’t know any better”, she said again quietly, “I never told anybody about it, did you?”

I got worried because I remembered that I had told two older boys in Allmendinger Park that one time, but I only told them that I got naked with a girl, not who it was, and since they didn’t know me they wouldn’t know it was probably Molly because she was my best friend. I was learning that it was easier not to tell people the truth all the time, but I didn’t want to do that with Molly.

“Well”, I said quietly, “I did tell two older boys in Allmendinger Park like four years ago but I didn’t tell them who it was I did it with and they didn’t know me, so they didn’t know you were my best friend so it was probably you.”

“Hmm”, she said, thinking about that, “That’s probably okay. You didn’t tell anyone else, right?” I nodded.

***

The next people who came were Paul, Marybeth, Hannah and Paul’s mom, who also came early to help mom in the kitchen.

Paul’s mom looked around the living room and said, “Wow Jane, posh Burns Park and all this furniture in the living room. You got your wish but I won’t ask how.”

Mom laughed and said, “A Lot of garage sales, strypeeze, elbow grease, Eric’s carpentry and re-upholstery, linseed oil, paint, and luck, I guess.”

“Well you did it lady”, she said, “Jane, I doubt there is anything you can’t do when you put your mind to it. Oh and Dill sends his regards and regrets, he had another thing today.”

Paul and Hannah were carrying wrapped presents and gave them to me. I put each one on the big table in the sitting room part of the living room, next to Molly’s present. Hannah asked me where David was, and when I told her, she looked at her big sister, who nodded, and then headed up the stairs.

Molly and I took Marybeth and Paul’s mom on the tour of our house, including the basement and ending up in the attic. Paul had already been to my new house but he came along anyway. Marybeth agreed with Molly that the attic was really neat, even though it was all wood, didn’t have regular walls or ceiling, and was cold. While we were up there she asked me if Danny was coming to the party and I said I thought so.

Then once it was one o’clock, lots of people started coming. All the friends I had invited came, except for Jake, most of them with either their mom or dad. Molly, Paul and I gave each new bunch of people the tour, from the basement to the attic. All the kids thought the attic was really neat, but not the grownups, because it was cold.

When mom’s new friend Maryjane came she brought two of her kids with her. Zeke was my age and Gordon was David’s. When Molly, Paul and I gave them the tour and we got to David’s and my room, Marybeth was sitting on my bed and David was still on his bed drawing with Hannah sitting next to him watching him draw. The stack of Beatles records were still playing on the record player. Maryjane’s eyes twinkled and she made a big smile and said, “The younger generation recharging in acoustic space.” Zeke and Gordon rolled their eyes and the rest of us looked at her wondering what she meant. Hannah told everyone that David was drawing “comic book guys”.

“Really”, said Zeke, “We’ll be back”, and after the tour finished in the attic he and his brother came down the attic stairs and went back into David’s and my room.

When Molly, Paul and I got back downstairs, a whole bunch of people had come. Arthur had come with Mike and Mike’s dad, and Andy had come with his mom. Eddie had come with both his mom and dad. Dad’s friends Walter and Frank had come too. There were now a whole bunch of presents stacked up on the big table in the sitting room, which was really neat. Because there were so many people now, mom said I should just give the kids the tour for now. Eddie had been in our house many times, so he just wanted to know where David was, and headed upstairs when I told him. My three friends from school, Mike, Andy and Arthur, followed me down into the basement. When we got to the bottom of the stairs Mike looked around.

“Yep”, he said, “Looks like a basement.”

Then he saw the tabletop hockey game on the old white table with the metal legs and said, “Oh wow Coop, you didn’t tell us you had a tabletop hockey set. We’d have been over long ago if we knew! Do you mind if we skip the rest of the tour?” I nodded my head.

Then he looked at Molly and Paul and said, “By the way, I’m Mike”, and he stuck out his hand for Paul to shake it, “You don’t look familiar.”

Paul shook his hand, looked up at him and said, “I’m Paul. You look really tall!”

“Yeah”, said Mike, seeming a little bit shy, “Everybody says that.”

Then he looked at Molly, stuck out his hand and said, “YOU kind of look familiar.”

Molly shook his hand and said, “I remember you from the soccer games before school. You always played goalie.”

“Were you one of those girls that played on our team against the sixth graders?” Mike asked her. Molly made a big smile and nodded.

“Until that one sixth grade kid figured out we were girls and kept telling us we didn’t belong there”, Molly said to him.

“Clem?” Mike asked.

“Yeah Clem”, Molly said, “He was a dickhead.” I was surprised she said a swear word like that, but I didn’t say anything.

“He WAS”, said Mike, laughing while he said it.

Ricky came down the stairs. I hadn’t seen him in a couple years. He was wearing a hat that some grownup men wore in those old movies on TV sometimes.

“Ciao ladies and gents”, he said, touching a finger to the brim of his hat, “I’m on a not so secret mission from the lady of the house to rouse the birthday boy to ascend the stairs and greet more of his arriving guests.”

Mike, Andy and Arthur just looked at him trying to figure out what he was all about.

Molly looked at them and said, “He’s just Ricky. He likes to talk funny like that.”

“Molly, Molly, Molly”, Ricky said, “You cut me to the quick.” Then he looked at Mike, Andy and Arthur and said, “Humorous Ricardo”, touching his hat with his finger again as he bowed his head, “At your service. You are?”

“Mike”, Mike said, sticking out his hand toward Ricky, who grabbed and shook it.

“AH”, said Ricky, “A hardy handshake, a good man.” Andy and Arthur said their names and shook his hand too.

“My task completed”, he said, “I shall bid you all arrivederci.” Ricky turned and headed back up the stairs.

“Your sister’s not here is she?” Molly called out to him. He stopped on a stair for a moment, still looking forward he shook his head and then continued back up into the kitchen.

Andy looked at me and asked, “So how do you know THAT guy?”

I was starting to walk up the stairs. I wasn’t sure what to say. I wondered if they thought Ricky was weird.

Molly could tell I was trying to figure out what to say but was having trouble. She said to Andy, “Ricky’s mom and my mom are good friends. He’s been coming to my birthday parties since I was little, and some of Coop’s too.”

As I walked up the stairs I heard Mike ask Molly, “How long have you and Coop known each other?”

“We were best friends since we were three”, I heard Molly tell him as I went around the corner up into the kitchen.

“Wow”, I heard Mike say, and I wondered if he, Andy and Arthur might think she was my girlfriend or something.

“There he is”, mom said, as she and Paul’s mom put tiny little hot dogs into soft mounds of spongy white stuff on a big metal tray, “The Nazars and the Allards are here, also Danny and Lennice. You should go out and say hello.” It hit me that mom was trying to be in charge of me at my own birthday party. But Paul’s and Molly’s moms were in the kitchen too so I didn’t say anything. I walked through the kitchen doorway into the living room.

Eddie’s mom looked down at me with her big smile though she kept her lips closed so I couldn’t see her teeth. “Cooper. Ten years old. Such a milestone!” she said. I looked at Ricky who was standing off to the side watching us. He would have a good thing to say to that. But he just looked at me and made his eyes big.

“It’s your line, kid!” he said.

Eddie’s dad laughed and wagged his finger at Ricky and said, “You are a very funny young man son. Have you ever thought about being a comedian?”

“If I had a nickel for everytime someone asked me that”, Ricky said, “I’d regret I didn’t have a dollar for each time!”

“Ha ha”, said Eddie’s dad to Ricky, then he looked at me and asked, “Does it feel different being ten?”

“I guess so”, I said. I usually didn’t say more than something like that when grownups asked me that kind of question. Dad and his friend Frank stopped talking on the couch and turned to look at me for my answer, along with mom’s new friend Maryjane over in the middle of the living room. I thought what I had already said made me look like a stupid kid to them and I didn’t want them to think that, so I figured I had to say something better.

“It’s hard to figure out”, I said, “There are so many new things for me. A new school. A new park. A new house with new furniture. New friends. Everything’s different, so it’s hard to tell if I’M different too.”

“Well said”, said Eddie’s dad, nodding slowly, “Well said.”

“Yes”, said Eddie’s mom, nodding as well.

“Yes. I’ll second that. Very well said”, said dad’s friend Frank. Then he looked at dad and said, “Your son’s not a child anymore, Eric.”

Dad looked at me, grinned, shook his head slowly and his eyes sparkled, looking just a little bit like he could cry but then rubbed his eyes with his fingers. I thought about what Frank said. I had NEVER thought I was a “child”, but I did feel like an “older kid” now, and my new friends seemed like older kids too.

“I’ll second that too”, said Abby and Steve’s mom, who was standing behind Eddie’s mom and dad. Abby was there next to her, holding a wrapped present and looking around at all the people. She looked at me and waved like she did when she saw me walking home from school. I waved back, but just a little bit.

She walked up to me and held out the present and said, “Happy birthday, Cooper. I hope you like it. I picked it out especially for you. I hope you don’t already have it.” Its shape looked like one of those record albums. I noticed mom in the kitchen and she made a face like I should say something.

“Thanks Abby”, I said.

She nodded. Mom winked at me. I put the present on the big table with all the other ones. I got excited seeing them all there, just like when I was a little kid. I still REALLY liked getting presents!

I could tell Abby and Steve didn’t know what to do now. Steve looked around and asked, “Are there any other kids here?”, like it was weird that it was just grownups. I really didn’t want him to think that. I wanted him to think my party was really neat.

“There are lots of kids here”, I said, “A bunch of kids from school down in the basement and my brother and his friends up in our bedroom upstairs.”

“Are there any other girls here?” asked Abby, like she was worried she was the only one and she wasn’t going to like my party.

“Oh yeah”, I said, nodding really fast, “My best friend Molly is down in the basement and my brother’s friend Hannah is up in our bedroom with her older sister Marybeth.”

“Your best friend is a GIRL?” she asked, “I figured you didn’t even like talking to girls. Who else is down there from school?”

“Mike, Andy and Arthur”, I said. She thought about that and nodded.

“Which way to the basement?” she asked, and I pointed into the kitchen. She walked into the kitchen followed by her brother. Mom pointed the way down the stairs.

Danny’s mom came up to me. “Happy birthday young man. I haven’t seen you since whenever it was last fall, you are certainly looking grown up. TEN YEARS OLD… OH MY GOSH!” Standing there around the other grownups, it made me kind of embarrassed.

“Where’s Danny?” I asked.

“Well”, she said, “Ricky whispered something in his ear and they both headed upstairs. Is that where all the kids are?”

“My brother and his friends are upstairs”, I said, “Most of the older kids are in the basement.”

“Hunh”, she said, “Well I see your dad over on the couch and I’ll just mosey over and say hello and then see if your mom needs help in the kitchen.”

In another part of the living room, mom’s new friend Maryjane was talking to dad’s friend Walter and this really big grownup that I figured must be Mike’s dad.

“Patriarchy”, she said, “You guys haven’t heard of it before. Well, as academics up on all the latest trends you better keep yourselves up to date. Patriarchy is a social system where men hold a disproportionate amount of power and privilege, and gender inequality is structured between men and women. Sound vaguely familiar? The term comes from the Greek word which means “rule of the father.”

I looked at her and her eyes caught mine and she winked at me.

“Yeah, yeah”, said Walter, “I know my Greek.”

“So what’s your point here?” asked Mike’s dad.

“In a patriarchal society”, she said, “Men control social, economic, political, and religious power, and inheritance passes down through the male line. Attributes that are considered ‘feminine’ are undervalued, while those that are considered ‘masculine’ are privileged.”

“So what are we talking about here”, said Walter, “With all due respect, that’s the way it’s always been since the days when we all lived in caves. It’s just human nature.”

“Unh uh”, she said, “With all due respect as well, I’m not buying that. Are you two familiar with the Kurgan Hypothesis?”

“I’ve heard of it”, said Mike’s dad, “But I’m not familiar with the details.”

“Well”, said Maryjane, “The theory goes that small bands of militant pastoralists, animal herders that is, aided by the domestication of the horse and its use in warfare, some 5000 years ago migrated west from the Steppes region north of the Black Sea, imposed themselves on more peaceful, more egalitarian tribes, setting themselves up as a ruling male elite.”

“Okay”, said Mike’s dad, though it didn’t sound like he was okay with what she was saying.

“The Kurgan culture of male supremacy”, she said “Rather than the natural order of human affairs, was an ‘innovation’ let’s call it, to human culture which for 200,000 years had been egalitarian and not male dominated.”

“I think I need another Bloody Mary”, said Mike’s dad.

“Me too”, said Walter, and as he walked by me, he looked at me, grinned, and shook his head.

I heard mom’s voice talking. Hers always stuck out in a room full of other grownup voices. Not that hers was louder, but that it was calm but fierce.

“I saw that on the news, Joan”, she said, “And yes, I’m very concerned. Eric, you’re still in the army reserves. If Congress has authorized sending nearly 200,000 U.S. soldiers to Vietnam, could you be called up somehow?”

“I don’t know Liz”, dad said.

“I read there’s a deferment for married men with children”, said Dad’s friend Frank, “At least for now.”

“What I’m really worried about are our young men”, said Molly’s mom, “Our kids graduating from high school, drafted to be sent off to fight and maybe die in some southeast asian jungle. Frank, Eric, your students too.”

“Again”, said Frank, “I think there is currently a deferment for young men in college. At least for now.”

Wow, I thought. All us boys in the park had always pretended we were soldiers and thought that we might have to be REAL soldiers if there was that “World War Three”. But now some older boys who were Margie’s age, or those students in dad’s classes, might have to be real soldiers in that Vietnam place.

I heard Danny’s mom’s voice from the kitchen. “My Danny’s just turned fourteen. By sixty eight he’d qualify for the draft. I’m not saying he shouldn’t serve his country, like you fellas did in World War Two, but fighting in some small backward country halfway around the world, it doesn’t feel right.”

Danny’s mom had said that he’d gone upstairs. I decided to go up there to check on everyone up there. At the top of the stairway I saw Ricky leaning against the wall at the end of the upstairs hallway between the bathroom door, which was open, and the office door, which was closed.

“Your bedroom is where it’s all happening, birthday boy”, Ricky said, still wearing his hat.

I walked towards him and asked, “Why’s the office door closed?”

“What can I say”, he said, “Some personal business is being taken care of in there. Nothing you need to worry about. Maybe you’ll understand when you’re fourteen like we are.” I couldn’t figure out what he was talking about. Who was in there and who was “we”?

So I went into our bedroom. David, Hannah and Eddie were all sitting on David’s bed and that Maryjane’s kids were sitting on my bed looking at pieces of paper. The Beatles were playing on the record player…

So I’m telling you, my friend
That I’ll get you, I’ll get you in the end
Yes, I will, I’ll get you in the end

The older of her kids said, “David, your drawings are really good. I can never finish my own.” Then he stopped talking and looked at me in the doorway to the room.

“Where’s Danny and Marybeth?” I asked. They all looked at me, made faces, and shook their heads like they didn’t know.

The older kid said, “You must be Cooper. Happy birthday! I’m Zeke and this is my brother Gordon. We’re Maryjane’s progeny.” I wasn’t sure what “progeny” meant, but I figured he was saying she was their mom.

That other Gordon kid next to him nodded his head, smiled, and said, “That we are. That we are. And a second happy birthday from me too!” David, Eddie and Hannah all said “happy birthday” too.

“How old are you?” that Gordon kid asked.

“Ten”, I said.

“Oh wow”, he said, “You’re pretty old!”

I couldn’t remember anyone ever saying that to me before. I went back out the doorway and looked at Ricky at the end of the hallway.

“So Danny and Marybeth are in the office?” I asked.

“Good guess Sherlock”, he said.

“What are they doing?” I asked.

“I don’t know”, he said, “I’m not Superman. I don’t have x-ray vision. Would be fun though.”

It hit me that maybe they liked each other, like boyfriend girlfriend liked each other, and were doing “kissyface” stuff, though that sounded like such a stupid little kid word. Older kids would say “making out”.

“Are they…”, I asked, but couldn’t say the last two words.

“Who knows… maybe”, he said, “If you were in there with Molly would you want me to be telling passers-by what you guys were doing? Golden Rule, kid! Golden Rule!”

I was suddenly really embarrassed and couldn’t even look at Ricky anymore. Maybe I thought about doing stuff like that with Molly but I didn’t want anyone else thinking about it, specially Ricky. I decided I better go back downstairs and see what was happening in the basement.

When I came down the stairs all the grownups were crowded into the sitting room part of the living room, and the other parts were empty.

I heard Molly’s mom say, “Jane, with passage of the Civil Rights Act, politics in this country WILL be turned upside down, no doubt about that. If some of those Southern Dixiecrats become Republicans, that’s a price that needs to be paid. Goldwater said ‘you can’t legislate morality’, but dammit, what the hell ARE we legislating if not the ethics of fairness.”

“Hear, hear”, said Paul’s mom, and lots of other people were saying stuff like they agreed.

“I take your point, Joan”, mom said, seeing me standing at the bottom of the stairs looking at her, “I just always fret about maintaining the political majority for progress going forward. I’d hate to see some clever Republican politician take advantage of this situation to kick the Democrats out of the White House in 1968 for all the wrong reasons.”

Maryjane was standing by the bottom of the stairway, listening to the discussion. She saw me, did her big smile and said, “Your mama’s holding forth. She’s really something!”

“And there’s our birthday boy”, mom said, still looking at me from the far end of the sitting room. Her voice sounded different, like it was fierce but also too friendly at the same time.

I’d heard other grownups talk that way at parties when they were drinking drinks with alcohol in them. All the other grownups turned to look at me. They all looked too happy like mom did. I wished Ricky was down here to say something funny to make everybody laugh, but I was the only kid in the living room, and I never liked it when a bunch of grownups looked at me and expected me to say something. I had said something earlier and all the grownups that heard it really liked it, so maybe they were expecting me to do that again, but I couldn’t think at all, except about what Marybeth and Danny might be doing upstairs in the office.

I finally stopped thinking about that and figured, if nothing else, I could say thank you. Grownups always liked it when kids said thank you to them, even though the bad part was it also made them think they were in charge of you. But I had to say something or they’d think that, even though I was ten, I was still a stupid little kid.

“Thanks everybody for coming to my party”, I said, and they all smiled and most of them nodded too.

Eddie’s dad held up his plastic glass with that Bloody Mary stuff in it and said, “To Cooper. May your second ten years be even better than your first!” I knew from other parties that that was one of those “toasts”. They all raised their glasses filled with that thick red liquid. I didn’t know what to say, or even do with my face, so I made myself smile, but it didn’t feel like a real smile so I figured it probably didn’t look like one either.

Not able to think of anything else, I said that word again, “Thanks”, and I nodded my head. Then I said, “I gotta go downstairs and check on my friends down there”, like I used to tell mom and dad when I had to go to the bathroom.

I quickly went through the kitchen and started down the stairs back into the basement. I heard the clunking and swishing noises of the tabletop hockey game and Mike’s voice.

“So you think the Red Wings will beat the Black Hawks tomorrow and go on to win the series and the Stanley Cup?” he asked.

“Hell yeah”, said Andy, “They’ve got the home field advantage.”

“True”, said Mike, “But with all due respect to Gordie Howe, Bobby Hull and Stan Mikita are a great one two punch for Chicago.”

When I got to the bottom of the stairs I could see that Molly and Abby were controlling the players on the blue team and Andy and Arthur were controlling the red ones. Mike and Paul were watching on either side of the white table with the metal legs that the hockey set was set up on.

Mike saw me and said, “The girls are pretty good considering neither of them have ever played real hockey.” But then looking at Abby he said to her, “But I’ve seen you skate over in the park. You’re pretty good, and you can even skate backward.”

“I’ve seen you and Andy play hockey”, she said, “But all you guys wouldn’t let me play even if I wanted to, right?”

Mike made a funny face, wrinkling his nose thinking. All he said was, “Uhhh…”

“She’s right”, said Andy, “I mean I’D let her play but some of the other boys probably wouldn’t.”

“So they’re in charge of you then, right?” she asked. Molly laughed. Abby looked at her and they both smiled at each other and their eyes twinkled. I could tell they liked each other. Abby and Molly were both pretty smart.

“No”, said Andy, sounding a little mad, “No. They’re not in charge of us. It’s a team sport, which means everybody has to agree to the rules. Barton and his friends wouldn’t play with us if we wanted to let girls play.”

“I remember Barton”, said Molly, “Just like Clem he said girls couldn’t play in the soccer games before class. He’s a dickhead too.” A kind of laugh exploded out of Arthur’s nose.

“He IS kind of a dickhead”, he said and nodded his head. I still couldn’t believe Molly was saying swear words like that. I didn’t remember her saying any the last time we played together, but that was a long time ago last fall. It seemed like we were all different and becoming more like big kids really quickly.

“A BIT?” said Abby, shaking her head and laughing through her nose as she continued to move her hockey players around. I guess she thought Barton was a dickhead too. I remembered him being that really big kid on the sixth grade team in our soccer games before class.

“Well”, said Paul, finally deciding to say something, “It’s good we’re figuring out who all the dickheads are!” Everybody laughed.

Ricky came bouncing down the stairs. “What’s so funny?” he asked, “What’d I miss?”

“Who the Burns Park dickheads are”, said Paul.

“Oh geez”, Ricky said, “I miss all the good stuff! Anyway, missus Z asked me to ask all of you to come upstairs for the ceremonial presentation of the cake to the birthday boy.”

“What about Danny and…”, I started to ask, but Ricky started talking before I could finish.

“Danny, Danny, Danny”, he said to me, “It’s all taken care of. The rest of your guests await your presence”, and he bowed and put out his hand pointing up the basement stairs. We all started up the stairs, me last.

“Here they come missus Z”, he called out up the stairs. By the time I got up the stairs into the kitchen, mom, Molly’s mom and Paul’s mom were all standing right next to each other in front of the kitchen table so I couldn’t see what was on it. Mom said we should walk into the living room through the sitting room, which was filled with all the grownups, some sitting, others standing. When I got around the corner into the rest of the living room I saw all the kids from upstairs sitting on the staircase, with Danny and Marybeth up at the top. Mom had me sit in one of the wire chairs at the round table. My school friends, Paul and Molly stood around me. Ricky flopped down in the big overstuffed rocking chair, still wearing his crazy hat.

“Go for it Missus Z”, he said, and most of the grownups laughed. That was one of the things he was best at, making grownups laugh.

So they did the regular birthday cake thing. Dad brought the cake with the ten burning candles out of the kitchen, and he and Eddie’s dad started the singing of the usual birthday song, but they did some harmony in the middle of it. At the end of the song I blew out the candles and everybody clapped and cheered. The words written on the brown chocolate cake frosting said “Happy First Decade” with a really big “Cooper” underneath it in white frosting. Mom had put little green eyes in each of the “o”s and a white smile underneath them. Molly and Paul’s moms then took the cake back into the kitchen, cut it, and brought pieces out on paper plates for everybody. There was barely enough for everyone.

Then mom, dad, Molly’s mom and Danny’s mom went back in the kitchen as all the rest of us ate our cake, and then I heard popping noises in there, and they brought out little plastic cups with light brown bubbly liquid.

“Champagne for the grownups and Vernors ginger ale for the kids”, mom said, and she and Molly’s mom had trays of the Vernors for us kids, and Danny’s mom champagne for the grownups.

When mom gave a cup to Ricky he said, “I’d prefer the champagne”.

Mom laughed and said, “Don’t push your luck, kid!”

When everybody had a cup of something to drink, mom stood by the bottom of the stairs where everyone could see her, raised her little cup, looked at me and said, “To you Coop. You’ve got a decade under your belt now and you’re on to the next. Everything’s changing so fast these days, can anyone even imagine what all our lives will be like in another ten years?” Most of the grownups shook their heads. The kids looked like they were still thinking about the answer.

“Flying cars”, Ricky said, and all the grownups laughed, “I’m still hoping for flying cars.”

“Men on the moon”, Walter said.

“Women too”, Maryjane said. Most of the grownups laughed.

“Well whatever life brings”, mom said, looking at me and holding her cup towards me, “We’re here for you!”

“Hear hear”, said dad, raising his cup, “To your continuing adventures, Coop!”

All of the other grownups raised their cups too and most said “hear hear”. The older kids knew to raise their cups for a toast, but not the “hear hear” part. I noticed Danny and Marybeth looking at each other.

***

So I opened my presents with everybody watching. I don’t know that I’d ever gotten so many before. Mom and dad got me a tape recorder with the shiny brown tape and those clear plastic circle “reels”, and dad said he’d help me with the instructions on how to use it. Mom said I could use it to record all the ideas I was thinking about so I didn’t forget them. I got a lot of music records from my friends, including forty five records from Arthur from what he said were “Ann Arbor bands”, “The Rationals” and the “MC5”. Mike got me a soccer ball and said I could be good at soccer if I practiced. Ricky got me a “Smothers Brothers” record called “Curb Your Tongue, Knave”. Paul got me another Avalon Hill game called “Midway”, which I knew was a big ship battle between the US and the Japanese in World War Two. Vincent got me that “Risk” game that I’d seen at that Riders hobby store. Maryjane’s kids, Zeke and Gordon, got me “Flash” comic books, because they said he had the best villains.

Molly’s present was a big cardboard tube of Tinker Toys. I think most people there thought that was a present you’d only give a little kid. After I saw what it was, I looked at her and she grinned and shook her head and said, “You can never have too many Tinker Toys.”

I remembered when she gave me more Tinker Toys for my fourth birthday six years ago, because she said I never had enough to make everything I wanted to make. I could tell she remembered that too. I suddenly felt sad that she and I didn’t get to play together very much any more, and I remembered what I heard her say in the basement that I’d been her best friend.

***

After the party, most everyone had gone home, but Molly’s mom, Vincent’s mom and Maryjane stayed to help mom and dad clean up, so Molly, Vincent, Zeke and Gordon stayed too. Zeke, Gordon and David were up in our room looking at comic books and talking about drawing, still listening to the stack of Beatles records over and over again. Vincent was up there too. He saw all my Avalon Hill games in the closet and I told him it was okay if he wanted to open them all up and look at them.

While the grownups cleaned up, Molly and I decided to take a walk over in the park. We put on our jackets and walked out in the cold across the baseball field and sat on the top of the big hill, looking down on all the parts of the park around us, the tennis courts, the baseball diamonds, the soccer fields and my school way off to the left, which used to be her school. There were some older kids playing basketball, on both basketball courts, and a few little kids on the play equipment.

“Remember the last time we sat up here together?” she asked.

“Yep”, I said, “Then we walked by my new house to see the painted rock, except I didn’t know it was my new house yet.”

“Everything’s so different now”, she said, looking out toward my house across the park.

“I know”, I said. Things were different for me, living in a different house by a different park, going to a different school and having different friends. But it felt GOOD different for me, except that I didn’t see her very much anymore. I couldn’t tell if it was good for her too because SHE seemed different enough that I couldn’t tell what she was thinking as much as I used to.

“I didn’t invite you to my birthday party”, she said, “Because all the other kids coming were girls.” I nodded. That made sense.

“I’m glad you came to MY party”, I said, “There were at least a few other girls.”

“Yeah”, she said nodding, still looking out towards my house but not at me, “Abby was neat. I kind of remember her from when I lived here and went to Burns Park, but she was a grade higher so we never talked to each other before today. And it was good to see Marybeth and Hannah. They both seemed so much older than the last time I saw them.”

“I know”, I said again, “I feel a lot older too, than before we moved here.” She nodded.

“Yeah”, she said, “You’re different. Not BAD different, but I can’t tell what you’re thinking anymore!”

“I can’t tell what YOU’RE thinking anymore either”, I said. We both laughed through our noses, still looking out and not at each other.

“At my school”, she said, “Girls and boys don’t really ever talk to each other. Or like only in class when they’re supposed to for a school project or something.”

“Yeah”, I said, “Same thing here.”

“So it’s like we’re on different teams now”, she said, “That’s why we seem different.” That made me think that she was right, I nodded but was too busy thinking about that to say anything.

“Remember when those older girls would ask if you were my ‘boyfriend’”, she said, “And I would say no, that you were my BEST friend.” I nodded. “Well now this Girl Patty in my class is my best friend. I hope that’s okay. I wanted to tell you because you are still my OLDEST friend.” I nodded.

I felt sad again. But I also felt good that she told me and I was at least still her oldest friend. I didn’t have a new best friend, so I guess she still was mine.

We heard a bell ringing from across the park. We could see our mom’s in the front yard of our house, my mom ringing the bell. I stood up.

“My mom wants us to head back”, I said. She stood up too, still looking out towards my house. We started to walk down the hill.

“So is Paul your best friend now?” she asked, “Or Mike?” I didn’t nod or shake my head or say anything. When I didn’t she looked down at the ground.

“I remember Mike from the soccer games before class”, she said, like she wanted me to have a new best friend too and maybe he could be it, “The few times I pretended to be a boy and played when I was in third grade, he was always really nice and never told on me, even though he knew I was a girl.”

Even though I couldn’t tell what she was thinking, I could tell she was sad, and that she figured out I was sad too.

“Well”, she said, trying not to sound sad, “If you invite me to your next birthday party I’ll come, though I might get you more Tinker Toys because you can never have enough.”

“Yeah”, I said, “I really liked that you got me that. That was my favorite present.”

“Good”, she said, as we walked across the empty baseball diamond toward my house and our moms watching us in the front yard.